The Daily Diversion Archive For February, 2004

Wednesday February 4, 2003

Happy February. Blah, blah, blah.

I saw something cool on the web about Occidentialism today. As the author of this article defines it, Occidentialism is the belief that the West is evil, unclean, machinistic, impure, imperialistic, opportunistic, materialistic, inauthentic and rootless. It's a very good read which dovetails nicely with some of the stuff that's been making sense to me about the whole Islamism thing.

Speaking of decadence, we went out to eat twice--lunch and dinner-- for our anniversary yesterday. No, yesterday wasn't our anniversary, it was the day we chose to celebrate it. This was mostly due to the fact that our babysitter (mom) could stay late and that we could rely upon places not being busy. I bought Sarah some cool stuff and we had a couple of lovely meals out. We also went to the Como Park Conservatory.

I have some mixed feelings about the Conservatory. I love it, let's get that clear right from the start. It costs a buck to get in and it's just about the most relaxing place you can go in the dead of winter short of a spa. The problem is that they closed my favorite wing. The fern wing, which used to wind around a Koi pool with up and down steps, has been closed to be expanded. Expanding is good, but the super cool thing about the fern wing is that you used to walk down through a path with mossy limestone on either side of you way up past your head. That was neat. There was also several fountains to toss coins into along the route and a couple of places to stop and sit and get damp from all the humidity. It's all gone now. I have the distinct feeling that part of what contributed to its demise was all the stairs and the fact that it probably couldn't be made handicapped-accessible.

I guess I'll shut up until the new wing is built, but I'm doubting it will be nearly as cool as it used to be.

Friday February 13, 2004

Oooh, Friday the 13th. Whatever.

I went to watch the NHL All-Stars practice last Saturday. Although it was cold, it was nice to get out of the house and walk around a bit. The Xcel Energy Center is a pretty happenin' place, I must say. There's some great sight lines all around that arena.

Many thanks to Lou for popping for a morning's fun.

I've been in a fairly cranky mood of late. It could be the snow, it could be the winter, it could be the sleep deprivation. Who knows. I do know this: I'm about one annoying thing away from a Tell-It-Like-It-Is week. I could use one of those.

I've been fiercely busy at work this week, too. We've been moving some of the more important people over to XP. This is not without it's bumps, but for the most part it's going well. XP upgrades from NT pretty well.

I had a royal fiasco last weekend trying to get my truck going. I knew I had a dead battery and a flat tire so there was prep work to be done before I even touched the truck. The truck must have seen me coming as it fought me tooth and nail every step of the way.

Since the truck runs WFO if I don't use the block heater to heat the engine up before I run it, I had to plug it in a couple of hours in advance of my messing with it. I think the return spring is weak or something's wrong with the throttle valve in the fuel injector system. I do know that when I start it from cold, if the throttle is touched before it gets warm it sticks.

So while the truck is heating up, I decide to pull the battery to not have to hassle with getting the core back to the shop for my $5 core charge. One look at the battery cables and I'm thinking to myself, "Should I replace these? They sure do look like shit..." The positive battery cable is about a foot long and attaches to the solenoid on the fender immediately behind it. The negative cable snakes down under the right motor mount and disappears. I'm thinking it's about 4' long and I just didn't have the patience to get down on the frozen ground and find out where the little bastard attaches to the block. Oh, screw it, I'll deal.

But I get ahead of myself. The first ordeal of the day is to get the hood open. This isn't as easy as it should be as the hood latch and catch is caked with crap and rust. The hood release lever in the cab needs to be pulled hard and kept that way so that I can get around front and then pop it past the safety catch. It worked the 25 times before this time, but of course those times were when it wasn't 15 degrees out. With a flat tire.

I can't get the bleeding hood open. It's past the catch, but the whole hood seems to have slid sideways about 1/4" due to the flat tire bending the whole works up. Yes, truck bodies and frames do flex a bit. I can't get the thing to let loose so I eventually have to break out the tools just to get the hood open. It had been being held only by the safety catch for about a month with the battery charger under the hood. It was connected to the battery because I was trying to resurrect the thing for one more trip. Nope. I guess I needn't have worried about my battery charger walking off. No one could open the hood to steal it.

So I open the hood finally by loosening the entire latch assembly and shifting it a full 1/4" to the right. The battery cables came off fairly easily and within 5 minutes I was off to the parts store.

I was looking at the truck's battery in the parking lot of one of the parts stores when I realized it still had a warranty on it from another parts store--Napa. I like Napa, but I'll often go elsewhere when It's common stuff I want. They tend to be a bit pricey. Anyhow, since it was Napa's battery and Napa was just down the street, I went there. Once I lugged the thing in, the guy told me that they didn't warranty batteries that were frozen. Fine thing, this. I told him that the battery wouldn't have frozen if it would have held a charge and that I wouldn't even be here if the damn thing held a charge. He didn't have any answers for me and so we got down to the business of finding the "right" battery for my truck.

Remember, this is my truck. It has 200,000 miles on it, it could fall apart tomorrow and I only need it once every other month. Am I going to buy an expensive battery?

Um...

No.

Clerky Clerk thinks the $85 battery is the right one for my truck because that's what his computer is telling him. I explain to him that I do not want that battery as it's as good as money down the toilet for this truck. "Your truck needs gobs of Cold Cranking Amps to get it going in the cold..." he started in on his spiel. I cut him short saying that the truck in question has 200,000 miles on it and is good and loose. Further, I also explained to his glazing over eyes that I need to run the block heater to start it in the cold because of the sticking throttle. I asked him for the cheapest battery he had with the posts on the correct sides.

His cordless phone rings and he pulls his clueless co-worker over to deal with me saying, "I gotta take this call." It did sound like business, but I was most annoyed as I now had to explain to this clueless non-native English speaker that I didn't want the spendy 1,000 CCA battery his computer was telling him that I needed. To Clerky Clerk's credit, while I was explaining to CNNES guy why I didn't want the battery the god-like computer was telling him I needed, he plopped a nearly cube shaped battery on the counter saying, "This is the smallest one I have..." and kept on jabbering away at his phone. I said, I'll take it and these thingies I had picked up while I was waiting my turn in line. The price? It was under $40 for the whole shooting match.

I grabbed the stuff and put it in the trunk of my car and off I went. I got home and tossed the battery in the truck only to be met by the battery cables I didn't replace. I cleaned them up the best I could and spread them out a bit so they'd go over the new terminals easily. It was then I noticed the negative cable clamp was nearly broken on the open end. Nuts. Forging ahead, I did manage to get a pretty good squeeze on the battery terminal with some effort and set in on the positive terminal. The bolt that squeezed the terminal end snapped in half immediately upon my turning it clockwise.

I hate stuff like this.

Off to my garage to rifle through various coffee cans full of miscellaneous nuts, bolts, screws and washers to find a suitable replacement. To my utter shock, a replacement nut and bolt nearly jumped to hand in the first can I dug into. Back to the truck!

The positive terminal cinched on, I started the truck. VAROOOM! I don't think it even spun over one revolution before it was running.

That I do like.

So now to attend to that flat.

Since we moved, I haven't had the time or money to run a 220V line out to the garage to power my air compressor. I've had to go back to the dark ages of hoping I can get to the filling station to get air when I have something that's sprung a leak. Well, the front right tire on the truck was nearly on the rim. It wasn't quite there yet, so I figured a can of Fix-A-Flat might do the trick. The label said to keep the stuff warm so that it would actually work, so I had the can in the warm car while I was working on the battery. I brought it out and hooked it up to the valve stem of the wheel and punched the button on top of the can. Goo was flowing! Flowing! Stopping! Stopped! DAMMIT!!!

The tire looked just the same and now had some crappy cheese running around inside of it. The stuff had gotten too cold and stopped flowing and once it stopped flowing, it solidified in the line. Nice. I tossed the can of crap in the back of the truck. Muttering oaths condemning the makers of the can of crap to hideous post-mortem tortures I set about putting the hood latch to rights while the truck purred along at idle. 20 minutes of futzing with it later, the hood shut and I was sorta good to go. I grabbed up my tools, tossed them back in the garage and slid in behind the wheel of Truck.

The snow has been falling pretty much continuously for a month and we've managed to pile up some real-live snow drifts. Nothing is quite as fun as barrelling through them in a big, two-wheel drive pickup. I slapped it into second (first gear is super-low) revved it up and let out the clutch. The truck moved forward with a lurch and I made it out of the parking spot with ease. As I moved down the alley, the rear end felt kinda squirrelly so I feathered the clutch a couple of times. At the top of the alley, I stopped just to make sure I wasn't tearing up the tire with the rim on the very low front tire. I stopped, hopped down and went around to take a look. It looked like it was going to get pretty warm on the trip, but the rim was off the ground so I was good to go. I went back around to get in again and noticed that the driver's side rear was flat. Flat-flat. Flat like no air at all. Buried in snow, it wasn't possible for me to see it was flat. Squirrelly rear-end problem solved. I looked at it for a while and decided (stupidly) to press on. I went another block and it was obvious that I was going to knock the tire off the bead if I went any further. That was bad. That means I'd have to go and have the darn thing fixed.

I parked the truck and walked back to the house. I got my car and took it to the other parts store in hopes I'd find a CO2 cartridge or something. Nope. Nothing but cans of that flat "fixin" crap.

Oh HO!

What's this I see?

An air tank. Not expensive, either.

Sold.

With my new, red air tank under arm, I head down to the filling station that was my original destination to fill it.

"She gives good blow jobs!" The statement came directed at yours truly from somebody's parent's SUV in the parking lot of the filling station. 4 high-class teenage girls were sitting there apparently with nothing better to do than proposition a fella with an air tank under his arm and a determined look in his eye.

"That's nice." I said in a way that implied that I was sure her mother was very proud that the preceeding statement had left her lips. "She gives good blowjobs, too!" came the same voice. I thought of my old pal Terry just then. Once upon a time, he felt it was his duty to rip on someone if the opportunity was given. I didn't say what I was thinking, because I just didn't have the time or inclination to get into it with them. It could have gone something like this:

I'm sure your mother's very proud.

Or something much worse.

Anyway, I filled my tank and zoomed off to my stricken truck. Once I got there, I put the hose on the rear tire and up the whole truck rose. I was elated. I nearly emptied the tank on the rear tire, but I did save some for the front one. I waded into the boulevard snow berm to find the valve stem. I attached the hose and, and, and...

Nothing.

That's not good.

Oh, well. We're right were we started. I tossed the tank in the snow in the bed of the truck and drove the car home. I walked back to the truck in the dark as the sun had set. I got in, fired up and drove slowly to the filling station.

When I got there, there was no way to get in close to the air hose. I had to wait a good 10 minutes to get in a spot that was close enough to reach the hose. I filled the back tire to the max and waited for another spot to open. When it finally did, I got in the truck, backed out and watched another car take the spot. Naturally, they were there to check the air in all 4 tires plus a spare.

Um, hey, Biff, cue the Jeopardy tune, would ya?

Da dee da dum da dee dah...

Finally, dirtbag and skeeze (for that is who they were...) left and I was able to pull in. I pulled the hose over and put it on the valve stem. Nothing. Well, at least that didn't change. Crap. That flat fixin' crap had crapped up the valve stem. Nice. More oaths. Did I mention it was probably 10 above by now? I'd been out in the weather since about 3:30 and the sun was now down. I was getting mighty cold and low blood sugar was setting in.

Okay, grab a snack, dummy. As I was walking towards the convenience store at the filling station, it occurred to me that I might be able to burn the crap out of the valve with a lighter. Normally, I would have been Out-Of-Luck-Chuck because normal valve stems have rubber outsides. Not so with Truck. They're metal. So when I was grabbing a snack, I also bought a lighter. I scarfed the snack and got down to the business of setting my truck on fire.

It took far less time for something to happen than I expected. About 4 seconds after I appled fire, stuff started bubbling out of the valve stem. Good. Progress. I kept it up for a bit and then hit it with the air hose. To my elated elatedness, the truck started to lift up. Oh YES!

I filled the tire up and, thinking it would be nice to have some air around the house, I filled the tank up as well. I couldn't leave just yet though.

When I came out with my snack, I saw St. Paul's Finest pull up to a car 4 over from mine and block them in. The officers got out and started questioning the driver about why the car they were sitting in had been reported stolen. In a way, it did lift my spirits some to hear someone else was having a shittier afternoon than I was. After a fashion, I got the jist that the car wasn't stolen, but was either on loan, recently purchased or some other shit. Whatever story the driver told must have sufficed as the policemen got back in their squad and pulled away after a bit. The kids drove off like they were on fire about 3 minutes later.

The reason I didn't pull off just then is that rasty old pickups like Truck are cop bait. The truck is currently licensed and insured, but I really didn't feel like having to detail why this was dragging here and why that doesn't work there. I played that game with Freetruck and I wasn't interested in playing again. I only waited about five minutes before I headed for home. I was masterful at slipping the truck back in it's spot in only one try and headed in after a long, drawn-out job well done.

The next morning the front tire was flat again.

Tuesday February 24, 2004

I've been out sick the last two days with a nasty cold. It started out as 3 consecutive days of post-nasal drip and then mushroomed up into some full-on crud. Presently I have a nasty hack and it feels as if someone's sitting on my chest. At least the VPN works.

Speaking of the internet, I have upgraded the service here at the house. It just so happens that I'm good to go for the next bump from Qwest, so I'm taking it. It about doubles download speed and about quadruples upload speed. Nice. That'll do, thanks.

Wednesday February 25, 2004

As a country, we're now entering yet another stupid-ass national debate over something that is bound to piss everyone off and obfuscate the real issues. Back in the day around the last big election or so, there was the flag burning constitutional amendment. This was an amendment to The Constitution of the United States of America that would prohibit the act of flag burning except as the proper method of disposal of worn flags.

This was nothing more than dumb, dumb, dumb. Like it or not, flag burning is a statement--a form of protected speech under the Constitution. What the amendment push was, was a method to create a buzz with our populace and to deflect real debate on real issues to stupid debate on a non-issue.

What I'm talking about is the debate cranking up over gay marriages. What does this matter to our country? It matters plenty to a lot of people, but the issue is being used as a totem for a wider us vs. them debate. What's at stake? The ability of gays and lesbians to enter into the bonds of marriage just like heterosexuals. Who's going to benefit if they're able to get married? Gays and lesbians mostly, but I suspect that children, lawyers and states that allow the practice early will win. Children will get more stable homes in which to be adopted. Lawyers will get money for same sex divorces, will challenges and other stuff that will be brought up by this issue. States that allow this practice before others will gain tourist dollars when G&L couples travel there with their families to get married. And, of course, G&L couples will get increased protection under the law for their marriages.

Who's going to lose? Conservatives unfortunate enough to have a problem with G&Ls in the first place won't be happy. People who flog this issue out when it's convenient to hinder debates on other topics will lose a favorite whipping boy. People who base their social mores on what the bible or their religous authority say will also lose as now the country's gone and done something they don't like.

Will the institution of marriage lose? I doubt it. Many people think that this will do damage to the institution of marriage by cheapening it. Now ANYONE can get married. I don't think that many people get married on a whim just as I don't think most people really think about what being married will be like. I would argue that if people did give it some thought, the divorce rate would be lower. I can assure you that people who can't currently get married are giving these questions much thought and will probably have fewer divorces because of it. It may be trite, but if people are worried about cheapening the institution of marriage, perhaps the place to start putting more value into marriage is with people who can, you know, get married in the first place.

My take on this issue is pretty simple. In the Declaration of Independence, it says "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." Self-evident--as in plain as the nose on your face or the stars in the sky at night. G&L marriages for me fall under the third of those unalienable rights. The pursuit of Happiness. G&L marriage will not hurt anyone and will give the benefits and protection of law to people who often get shafted in situations where if they were married they would have protection.

It pisses me off that I even have to hear about it. This is the kind of thing that when you realize it isn't legal you go, "Huh? Why the hell not?" Unfortunately for me, this debate will rage on up until the election. The president has come out in favor of altering our sacred Constitution to prohibit(!) G&L marriages. The two Democratic candidates don't want to legalize G&L marriages(!!), but oppose an amendment banning them. Cowards. Ralph Nader is pro G&L marriages, but you'd expect that.

WHO THE HELL AM I GOING TO VOTE FOR?

I'm really getting tired of heading into the voting booth holding my nose so's not to get a whiff of the stench of the choices I must make. We'll hear about this issue all the way up to the election and I don't think that's accidental. I think both the Republican and Democrat parties are trying to drive voters away from the voting booths. I think both parties think that low voter turnout will be in their favor.

I should wrap this up so I'll close by saying that this one's a no-brainer, really. Shame on us for not making G&L marriage legal already. Now, can we talk about some real issues?

Thursday February 26, 2004

What's cool?

Free tickets to pro sports games, tech geeks and sleep.

What sucks?

Human poop on the sidewalk, viruses and getting not enough sleep.

I went to the Timberwolves game last night. They pretty much spanked the Nets in the beginning of the 4th quarter. Beyond that, it was a brick-tossing night. There were a colossal number of missed shots. It seemed, for a while there in the 2nd quarter that the only way to get a basket was the dunk.

Other than the not-so-accurate shooting, the game was a lot of fun. I get these tickets from time to time. They're excellent seats.

I went with my friend Mike who's a programmer and sometime geek. He's a good guy and we pretty much chatted the evening away talking about our new babies. He has a daughter that was born a couple of months before August.

Speaking of our boy, he's not feeling well. This was his third week of center day care and it was the third cold we've all shared as a family. Sarah's terribly sick and she and Gus were up all night. This kept me from getting much in the way of sleep and if you add the rotten sleep due to my being sick earlier this week, I'm pretty fog-headed.

Here's something that really should go without saying, but I'm going to say it in the vain hope that the people who are doing this will see this and say, "Oh, right. I'll stop that. Sorry..." What I'm talking about is people pooping on sidewalks.

I understand there's a shorage of public bathrooms in downtown Minneapolis. I understand that if you don't have a home, it might be kinda tough to find a place to take care of your bodily functions. However, there is absolutely no reason to poop in the sidewalks. None.

Stop it!

What brings this up is that I've been seeing a fair bit of poo on sidewalks of late. I don't like to see this. There's something wrong about seeing a pile of, um, stuff sitting there and knowing what put it there. No, it's not a big dog and it's not a fake. Nope, some large thing left that there.

The parking ramp I park at most days has a side exit that's supposed to be a fire exit, but it's open for egress all the time. It opens into a small alley which opens up into the real alley between the ramp and another building. The small alley used to have a fence across its opening that couldn't be opened from the outside, but could be opened from the inside. That fence is now gone. The poo started showing up a couple of weeks ago. At first I wondered what it was, but as I walked past it, there was no doubt at all what it was. And what it was was gross.

To the building's credit, someone has been cleaning up the little alley nearly daily, but that's because there seems to be a fresh pile of poo there nearly every day. And pile is a generous description as I don't believe the pooper is in good health. It's more like a cross between a puddle and a mound. Sorry.

What brings this outrage to my site is that I saw some more poo last night. There was quite a bit of it, too. We were exiting the Target Center via the stairs and the walkway along 2nd Ave. When we left the building, we were on the sidewalk, but still under the building. There are pillars off to the street side of the sidewalk and a small wall separating the sidewalk from the 20' drop to the street. Anyhow, between the pillars and the low wall were no less than 20 piles of poo. This is not what one wants to see when leaving a basketball game.

Why am I bringing this up? Well, it bothers me, that's why. And this is my blog where I get to vent stuff like this. I don't even have any ideas as to how to keep people from pooping on the sidewalks or in alleys. Nope. Not a one. I guess I could implore the City to provide some portapotties for the benefit of the homeless, but I have a feeling that somehow, these wouldn't solve the problem.